The Honeysuckle Incident – When Tom Laid Her on the Grass

Let me tell you about the Honeysuckle That Never Had a Chance.Last year I asked Tom to plant a lovely young honeysuckle in a trough and train it up over the arch I’d built (badly, but with love). I specifically asked him to remove the bottom of the trough and dig the ground underneath so the roots could grow down into the soil properly.What did Tom do?He just laid the entire trough on top of the grass.Yes. On the grass.So now the honeysuckle is sitting in a container full of grass roots and weeds that have happily grown up through the bottom. She looks confused and slightly betrayed.The arch I built lasted approximately five minutes before the wind took it down. Twice. So I removed the wreckage and put in some stakes instead.She now has one (possibly two) very leggy stems that I was hoping to train onto a nearby tree branch so she could climb merrily upwards like a proper honeysuckle.Unfortunately, when the wind blows, that tree branch whips around like a sadistic skipping rope and the poor honeysuckle gets flung about like she’s on a theme park ride she never signed up for.Plan B is urgently required.Alex has kindly advised that she needs pruning. So tomorrow I will attempt my first ever honeysuckle prune, armed only with secateurs, hope, and several YouTube videos.Tom, meanwhile, continues his reign of quiet destruction.The honeysuckle is currently sulking in the corner with Caroline and Briony, whispering “We didn’t ask to be here.”The end (until I attempt the prune and probably make everything worse)One mouse you say? Okaaaay.