Briony the Peony – The Comeback Kid (That Keeps Getting Knocked Down)

 

Meet Briony the Peony — the most optimistic and resilient plant in the entire garden.She arrived two years ago full of hope and dreams of producing big, fluffy pink flowers. She had plans. Big plans.Then Tom the Gardener introduced her to his beloved strimmer.In one enthusiastic and completely unnecessary swipe, Briony went from “promising young talent” to “2 inches of stubble”. She looked like she’d been given an unwanted military buzz cut.But Briony is a fighter.This spring she bravely pushed up again — reaching about 10 inches tall with fresh leaves unfurling. “This is my year,” she whispered.Then Tom came back… with the strimmer.WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBriony is now roughly the height of a Lego brick again.She is currently sitting in the border looking slightly dazed, with a couple of tiny brave leaves poking out like she’s waving a very small white flag that says “Please stop.”The squirrels walk past and snigger.
The magpies drop moss on her head for fun.
Even Caroline the Cordyline gives her a sympathetic side-eye, as if to say “At least I only got frostbite.”I keep telling Briony: “Hang in there girl, one day Tom will miss you and you’ll finally get to bloom.”She just sighs, grows another half-inch, and mutters “I didn’t ask to be here… and I definitely didn’t ask for Tom.”Moral of the story: Never trust a gardener who thinks “pruning” means “strimming everything in sight and hoping for the best.”The end (until the next time Tom gets near her with anything mechanical)