Ghillie Suit Gardening – Night Shift Suspect List

 Here’s the updated Night Shift Suspect List with the kibble note added xx

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Ghillie Suit Gardening – Night Shift Suspect List The trail cam is out, the garden is quiet, and the real gremlins come out to play after dark. Here are the main suspects currently under investigation:Tier 1 – Almost Certain Regulars

• Felicity – The ginger diva. Expect late-night raids, dramatic hedge investigations, and the occasional power nap on the lawn.
• Barry the Badger – Heavy-set snuffling legend. Likely to appear as a low, chunky shadow with a very determined waddle.
• Horace (and possible gang) – The spiky VIPs we’re all hoping to see.
  Special note: A small handful of hedgehog kibble has been placed near the water trays tonight as an official invitation. Come on Horace… show yourself, mate!

Tier 2 – Very Likely

• The Rat Pack (Roland & Youdirty and friends) – Fast, low to the ground, and always hungry.
• Panther (Lula) – The neighbouring cat who thinks my garden is her second home.
• Local mice/voles – Tiny, lightning-fast shadows darting between the plant pots.

Tier 3 – Possible Celebrity Guests

• Extra foxes – Could be Felicity’s mate or one of her grown cubs.
• Tawny Owl – A big, silent visitor that might land to hunt.
• Frogs/Toads – Especially after rain. Slow, hoppy little blobs near the water trays.
• The occasional Muntjac deer – Unlikely in Bournville… but as we’ve learned, anything is possible.

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Current Scoreboard
Felicity: 1
Everyone else: 0 But the night is young, the kibble is out, and the camera is watching. Horace, if you’re out there… the red carpet is rolled out.

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Walter standing sentinel

 

Walter has officially taken up guard duty on top of Caroline’s cloche. He’s not just perching — he’s standing sentinel over the tragic stump like a loyal knight protecting his fallen lady.
Caroline: still in her ICU bed with the neon green wound sealant.
Walter: “Fear not, m’lady. Thou shall watch over thee.”
It’s strangely wholesome in the midst of all the chaos.

Ye Olde Wildlife Cafe Online Shoppe

Ye Olde Wildlife Cafe Online Shoppe“Supplying Tools, Trauma & Mild Regret Since 2026”Tagline:
“Because your garden is already a circus — you might as well sell tickets.”

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Featured ProductsThe “Level 20 Gremlin Survival Bundle”

• GardePro Trail Cam (pre-tested indoors for 24+ hours by a certified idiot)
• Heavy-duty ground spike
• Spare batteries (you will need them)
• Emergency pliers (for when you over-tighten feeder lids like a weapon)
• Free “I Outsmarted Myself” sticker

The Felicity “No Seconds” Collection

• Portion control bowls engraved with “This is all you’re getting, stop looking at me like that”
• “Guilt Stare Resistant” window film
• “Reduced Breakfast” measuring spoon set

The DW Support Range

• “Quiet Table” dedicated low-competition pigeon trays
• “Wings as Crutches” sympathy cards
• “No Bullying Allowed” signs (ignored by Walters, but aesthetically pleasing)

The Cyril Vandalism Defence Kit

• Replacement feeder lids (he’ll still defeat them)
• “Anti-Squirrel” locks (he’ll defeat these too)
• Circus peanut treats for when he does his upside-down performances

Apparel & Gifts

• “They’re Coming To Take Me Away Ha Ha Hee Hee” straitjacket hoodie
• “I Run A Wildlife Cafe” mug (refills itself with existential dread)
• “Horace Approved Hedgehog Kibble” (coming soon)
• “I Survived Level 20” limited edition T-shirt

Official Shop Motto:
“We sell hope, trail cams, and the quiet acceptance that you’ve lost control of your life.”

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