Cyril Is A Certified Little Shit

Let’s talk about Cyril.This morning he was in full destruction mode again. Not content with just chucking lids off feeders and hiding them in another dimension, or continually chucking his nut house on the ground, he’s now moved on to breaking the bug hotel as well. The squirrel is running a one-man demolition crew at this point.I’ve moved his nut house back onto the patio (where it used to live) and done a dodgy temporary repair on the roof until his brand new house arrives on Saturday. I put nuts in there and — of course — he found it within minutes.Nothing gets past this little bastard. He has the detection skills of a heat-seeking missile and the destructive tendencies of a toddler on a sugar rush.Cyril isn’t just a squirrel.
He’s a professional little shit with expensive tastes and zero respect for property.He wrecks the things I buy him, demands better accommodation, throws tantrums, and still expects room service on demand. And I, like a weak-willed fool, keep enabling him.At this rate I should just accept that I’m running a squirrel rehabilitation centre for delinquent rodents with anger management issues.Cyril, if you’re reading this (and let’s be honest, you probably are), sort your bloody life out. Or at least stop breaking everything I buy you, you destructive little gremlin.The new house arrives Saturday.
Try not to demolish it before the weekend’s over.

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