Felicity’s Perfect Timing

Ghillie Suit Gardening – Felicity’s Perfect TimingBugger me, this fox catches me out every time.....every single time.Without fail.I open the back door, do a full sweep of the garden like I’m clearing a building in a hostage situation… coast is clear. I go into the kitchen, start making peanut butter butties for the magpies, Walters and Littlies.It wasn’t the sound of the back door wot did it.Oh noooooo. That was already open.It was the unmistakable thud of bread hitting the lawn and the glorious aroma of peanut butter drifting across the garden like a dinner bell wot did it.“Human’s making butties… 3… 2… 1… pop… told ya.”The second those butties landed on the grass, up popped the ginger head from the long grass like a meerkat who’d just won the lottery.She doesn’t even need to see me anymore. She doesn’t need the sound of the door. She has evolved way beyond such primitive cues. She now operates on pure peanut butter telemetry.Felicity has developed a sixth sense dedicated entirely to detecting when I’m trying to feed anyone except her. It’s actually impressive. Terrifying, but impressive.I didn’t even get a chance to serve the intended customers. Felicity got there first and hoovered them up like she’d been waiting for this exact moment.The butties were meant for the magpies, Walters and Littlies.
Felicity clearly disagreed.She now has advanced scent-based surveillance, lightning-fast interception skills, and the confidence of someone who knows the human is a soft touch.I didn’t cave and give her anything extra… but she still won. Again.The fox is running this garden. I’m just the one who pays the bills and makes the butties.Felicity doesn’t just live in this garden.
She owns the timing.At this point I’m not even annoyed.
I’m just in awe of the sheer audacity.The fox has won again.

Ghillie Suit Gardening – Another Day in the War Zone
The magpies and crows are getting absolutely rinsed these days — no cat food, no butties, nothing. Their only safe haven is the pigeon feeding station, and even that’s under constant threat.This morning I actually had to stop Felicity mid-jump as she tried to grab a Littlie straight off the feeding station. The poor things are now living on the edge.Meanwhile, Cyril has once again chucked his squirrel house off the table. This is becoming a daily ritual. I think he genuinely hates that house. Maybe it’s too small, too brown, too whatever — but he’s made his feelings very clear by repeatedly defenestrating it.The Wildlife Cafe is now operating under siege conditions.
Boundaries are being tested.
Alliances are shifting.
And I’m just trying to stop it all descending into total anarchy before 9am.Send help. Or a bigger squirrel house. Or a reinforced Littlie feeding station.

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