The Current Cast of Characters

The garden has officially become a full-blown ensemble soap opera with CCTV, named residents, recurring storylines, and multiple crime families operating simultaneously.Mammals

• Felicity – The elegant but ruthless vixen who runs the protection racket. Still turns up expecting breakfast even though the restaurant is closed. Beautiful, clever, and knows exactly how to work the human.
• Freya, Farron & siblings – Felicity’s bold cubs, already learning the family business of “this garden belongs to us now.” Getting braver by the day.
• Barry Junior – The badger who treats my lawn like his personal all-you-can-eat buffet and does regular night patrols. Built like a little tank.
• Reginald – The absolute whopper of a rat caught on camera. Big lad. Bold. Not welcome.
• Panther, Fat Ball & Mango – The cat crew. Panther (the original part-timer who likes to nap on my bed), Fat Ball (the bold house invader), and Mango (the judgemental site inspector who wipes his feet on the way out like he’s too good for this chaos).

Birds

• The Walters – The pigeon collective. Some are bold, some are disabled, all are hungry and surprisingly resilient.
• Russell – The crow famous for mid-air handbrake turns and stealing cat food like a pro. Absolute legend.
• The Magpie Air Force – Precision moss-bombers and opportunistic raiders. Always watching from the trees.
• The Littlies – Tiny feathered vandals who flick oyster grit across the patio like confetti and have taken over the new elevated birdbath. Chaotic but adorable.
• Merlin – The baby Tawny Owl who made his debut strutting across the patio like he owned the place. First owl sighting — very special.

Plants (The A&E Ward)

• Caroline – The tough old Cordyline who looked like a sad stump with a DNR notice but is now quietly pushing out new shoots. Absolute survivor and comeback queen.
• Fatima – The dramatic Fatsia who demands parasols, deep waterings and emotional support. Currently behaving herself (for now). High maintenance diva.
• Briony – The peony who survived being strimmed to within an inch of her life and is slowly recovering. Quiet fighter.
• The Lone Strawberry – The sole survivor of the Great Plant Massacre of 2026. Currently in witness protection with luxury sand mulch and motivational speeches. Still tiny but hanging in there.

Vandals & Chaos Agents

• Cyril & the Squirrel Gang – Including the new Little ‘uns. Professional lid chuckers, house destroyers, nut thieves and table-flippers. Absolute gremlins with expensive tastes and zero respect for property.

It all started with one humble bird feeding station.
Now look at us.From little acorns… to absolute beautiful madness.And somehow, I’m still weirdly okay with it all.

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